Yapolitical

Despite me now being a blogger I'm still not particularly immersed in the blogosphere but I have in the past gazed over the odd political blog. The Lib Dems were the early leading lights in this field and I still gaze at a few centrist sites from time to time, but now the Conservatives seem to have taken the lead. One of the better known British examples of this is Guido Fawkes' supposed anti-politics blog, although 'anti-Labour' (who just so happen to be in power at the moment) is a better label. Recently the main man behind the site went head to head with Derek Draper, who recently started Labour List as an almost direct reaction to the amount of Conservative-friendly blogs in comparison to those of the centre-left. The Daily Politics provided the neutral ground for them to meet on and through the below link you can find the archive of their spat. But the clip I want to show you is what of a very eloquent speech given by a little-known MEP which took the blogosphere by storm but got next to no TV coverage ... of course all MEPs are little-known but you take my point:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/the_daily_politics/7965909.stm

Talking of the EU, I'll be casting my views on Libertas sometime soon. (Something to look forward to eh?)

The big politics story of the last few days has of course been Jacqui Smith's husband wrongly deciding to claim a couple of blueys on her parliamentary expenses. Would you once again like to see his rather awkward and embarrassing apology? You're not really going to find many people that would back his decision to claim for expenses but there is a more even debate on the idea of a man in the privacy of his own home scratching an itch whilst his missus is elsewhere. I wont state my own views but, after listening to part of the debate on Jeremy Vine's show on the way to work yesterday, it does seem fairly clear that if the man doesn't see a problem with it but the lady does it's a recipe for disaster. Relationships seem to have a much better chance of working if both people have a similar view. Not rocket science I know but it's a certainly a much overlooked point in the debate.

On a side note I will one day have to explain what Yapolitical refers to and wax lyrical on my podcasting past

The other Trent Vale poet

At Trafficlink I have one of the least sociable work patterns you can imagine, earlies is 6am-2pm and lates on 2-10pm. Both shifts have their pros and cons however. On lates I used to do the travel for BBC Coventry and Warwickshire right up until 10pm, which is just plain daft as their stretch of roads are almost always silent by 7pm. One perk was the banter I got to have with the presenter, who would ask me such questions as “Greg, have you ever been in a shop?” or “Greg, what did you have for tea?”

On a Tuesday he had a poetry night and would challenge me to write a short poem on that week's subject, so at 8.20 he'd give me a topic and by 9.40 I'd have to read it out live to the adoring fans. Bear in mind, I had bulletins for other stations to prepare and present as well as for CovWar so these are far from polished masterpieces but for the next few Mondays I'll let you have a read of my unedited poems. The last two poems I wrote before the show was axed were just before Christmas and early on in the New Year. For some reason they asked me to write a haiku on the last show:

New Year Haiku
Another year gone
Another year to age more
Time moves too fast now

Christmas
I'd be happy if there was no mention of Christmas until the day itself
Although the world would be a much different place, it'd feel right eery
I take a positive view of life, but my enthusiasm seems to go on the shelf
When it gets closer to December and I'm reminded of those days dreary
When the days are short and weather gets colder, grimmer and wetter
As if some vision of yuletide festivities is going to make me feel better

But then, I'm rather missing the point of Christmas, as are most
Driven by commerciality is hardly how it all would have began
It's not to give presents, cards, to give those chestnuts a roast
It's to remember the birth of God on earth as a wee man
So when everyone else is enjoying their decadent pleases
I'll be singing my own song entitled Happy Birthday Jesus

Oscar the Octavia

A rather bizarre set of events happened on Thursday involving my aging and high-miling car, Oscar the Octavia. For reasons that will later become apparent I'm very thankful to God as to how it all happens but you may just see it as a series of happy coincidences.

So where do I start? Well lets get the bad bit out of the way, my Doris¹ got poorly sick Wednesday evening after eating too much fancy ice cream at the cinema. She's not used to living the high life you see; she's dead common ent eet². She was ill all evening and had Thursday and Friday off work to recover. I was on lates so was gonna pop round to before work to look after (and every so slightly patronise) her.

Two days prior I'd topped up the oil in my car but had cunningly forgotten to put the cap back on the tank. So as I set off on Thursday morning from Trent Vale to Sneyd Green, for a change of scenery I decide to go through Newcastle, my car started to make rather a worrying noise. I go down Basford Bank towards the D Road (A500) and the car suddenly turns into a traction engine, it's making a right racket. On the other side of the D Road the police are doing routine car checks and I pull over into an industrial estate to work out why my car is louder than a Stade Francais rugby top. Unsurprisingly one of them is on my tail and asking me to pull into a bay where they're carrying out the checks. They do a quick inspection and discover that my engine had been spitting oil but miraculously the oil cap was still sat on the engine (especially when you realise I'd done a 100 round mile round trip the day before) and somehow my spark plug had come loose and the cable it was attached to had frayed. The spark plug had been rattling next to the pistons hence the 'one man band falling down the stairs whilst holding a pneumatic drill' impression.

They then proceeded to tell me that until I get my car fixed they're not letting me back on the road. He'd got a fair point, the combination of oil spluttering out of the engine and a frayed cable that was sparking right next to it is not a recipe for success. So I called the RAC and within ten minutes, no exaggeration, a bloke in one of their textbook orange breakdown vans had rolled up. In less than half an hour and in the pouring rain he's got it all sorted. The police check it over and give me the all clear; I’m back off onto the road within an hour of my car’s worrying development with a much better sounding engine. The potential fireball is averted and it cost me nowt.

So Greg, how are you going to crowbar God into this story? Well, if Lisa wasn’t ill I wouldn’t have paid her a visit before work and my car would instead have made a racket on the M6 instead of in front a load of very helpful policemen who could quick diagnose my problem. Were this to happen on the M6 I’d have missed a day’s work and would have to wait a whole lot longer for recovery to kick in (probably). Also, what kind of oil cap that wasn’t screwed in would fall through the engine but not wind up on the road but instead end up easily retrievable and unblemished? The conditions I’d created could have resulted in a big ball of fire or a costly bill to fix the multitude of problems that would have arisen. Instead it was gratis and I’d lost my excuse for a day off work. On the downside it did mean I spent less time mopping the brow of my beloved but at least she’s now well on the road to full recovery … I could say my car is too but quite frankly I still need a new car fairly soon. Until the day arrives where I can afford to start paying for a new(er) car I know He’s helping to keep Oscar going.

1 She's actually called Lisa
2 It means 'isn't it'.

I should also add that the car pictured isn't mine but is the same model and colour.

You don't have to have a love of cliches to work here...

The place I work is, like most workplaces, full of in-jokes and rather cliquey and as such can be a rather intimidating experience for a newb but an absolute treat once you've been welcomed into the fold. I'll explain a little later what exactly my job entails.

There are so many Trafficlink-specific words and phrases that one of my colleagues has compiled a glossary. For me, I finally felt accepted when I got my first phrase into the hollowed text. It was an off the cuff remark I made about darts, a fondly loved 'sport' round these parts (Phil Taylor, Ted Hankey, Andy Hamilton, Adrian Lewis and Eric Bristow all have Stoke connections). You see, I love the way the darts caller says certain numbers. 180 is just hackneyed and obvious, for me the real gem is 45. The richer deeper darts caller can really roll the end of the fiiiive in forty five, that burr is a thing of beauty. A classic example can be heard here.

Now, for some reason it really tickled whoever it was I told. My impression deserved a repeat performance it would seem, and again, and again ... and again. It was soon the only the thing you'd hear of a shift at work, what fresh hell had I unleashed? It went to rather giddy heights when the whole office went out to the see the Grand Slam of Darts in Wolverhampton. Having said that, it was one of the best evenings I had in 2008! The ITV4 (yes apparently there is an ITV4) commentary even picked up on the fact that there were louder cheers on some 45's than there were on the 100's and 120's...

So once one catchphrase is embedded in the Trafficlink conscience where do you go next? Find another glossary term to get the kids raving and that's when I heard this promo on my way to work one morning. Lo and behold we had a daily Antiques Roadshow sing-a-long for neigh on a month ... thank goodness that one's finally worn off!

And what job is it I do? Well I'm one of the voices you'd hear when the traffic and travel kicks in on your car's RDS. I do various BBC local radio stations (although rarely on Stoke) and Talksport (which is a national station).

No doubt I'll bring you a few more work anecdotes in the coming weeks, including posting some of the the poems I had to write for BBC Coventry and Warwickshire, but don't worry I've still got plenty of deep spiritual and political stuff to share as well. And anyway, even if you found this whole post deeply worrying and not even slightly entertaining I know at least five or six colleagues who will enjoy my meanderings on this occasion.

This week I was mainly...

This is a weekly thing that is pretty much for my own edification and nobody elses. It's a nice way of reminding me of things I really enjoyed once upon a time and to rip into anything that disappoints me. Obviously I encourage you to take up some of my recommendations.

This week I was mostly listening to
Funeral For A Friend – Casually Dressed And Deep In Conversation
I'm seeing them in Leeds you see. Juneau is still probably their best track but the album is not as good as my hazy memory has promised.
Believer – Gabriel
I'm still loving their comeback album and really enjoyed my interview with Kurt last Saturday. You can listen again to the interview here. The audio will also go on the Facebook group for The Rock and Hard Place soon too.
Dragonforce – Ultra Beatdown
Rather disappointed by this one I have to say. Their cheesy power metal seems to have rather lost it's way. Much preferred Theocracy's latest if you're looking for open-fisted theatrical metal.

This week I was mainly watching
The Apprentice
Clough
Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle
None of these three need any explanation, they just need to be watched ... via iPlayer (I don't watch TV at home).

This week I was mainly reading
The Shack (William P. Young). I should have finished it by now, come on Sammons!
The Week. I'm actually about three weeks behind so it's more like The Week Three Weeks Past.

Other things of note from this week
Er, well last week I went to see Count Arthur Strong in Buxton with Lisa. She wasn't acquainted with the character prior to the show and as such spent the first half trying to work him out! He rather dragged out a very short show but there were some great moments, including his appearance in the Ask The Family pilot and his telling the silent audience to stop interrupting him.

Oh and I'm not actually a particularly big fan of the Fast Show in case you ask.

Humour me

Goodness only knows what prompted me to start this but I guess it makes sense. Almost every day I'm inspired to write something but never know quite where to start. Well most days this is where I'm gonna start. Some days I might just write about something that inspired or tickled me, other days it could be the embryo of something I'd like to expand on some other time. In which case humour me.

As a rule I don't like blogs as they often bring out some worrying character traits: egotism, inflated-self worth, a filtering system that allows us to self-edit our lives to present it in the way you wished others would see you, introverted naval gazing and missives on topics that 101 other people would be better placed to comment ... and no doubt in a more eloquent way.

I'm sure I'll fall into each and every one of those pitfalls at some point. For starters 101 to the power of 101 people could have written the above paragraph far better than myself. Getting back on topic (not that there is a clear topic in this instance) I've felt the need to write for a decade or so now. I kept diaries during various parts of my life, I started writing sketches when I was 15 or 16 and still try to write them from time to time, I went though a poetry writing phase in 2001 and occasionally revisit it, I wrote a sitcom during a productive week in 2006 and keep meaning to rewrite it or start on a new idea, I wrote a short radio play a little while ago even but just ended up being a rather ham-fisted introverted way of getting a message across. My point is I keep writing bits and bobs and I doubt that desire will every go away.

I have a very strong faith and the temptation would be for me to try and convince you to believe the same as me. I have some Christian friends who see their blogs as a form of evangelism. I'll be frank: I wholeheartedly would love to see each and every one of you embrace the passion I have for my maker and have that same relationship with Him that I'm eternally thankful for but that is not the aim of my blog. There will be times when my faith is mentioned obviously, God is my biggest inspiration, but there will also be times when politics might inspire me or my love of comedy, my armchair rugby fan side might rear it's head or maybe one day I'll you about my subbuteo past...

Things interest and inspire me every day, it'd just be nice to write some of them down before I forget them. If they interest, inspire, encourage or tickle you then even better.